I'm trying to type but I'm still having violent flashbacks from this morning when I drank my first protein shake (Bariatric Advantage-Vanilla). It was traumatizingly, gag-inducing terrible. Imagine what it might taste like if you were to mix a bottle of water with all of the collected chalk dust from that little metal tray at the bottom of the chalkboard that holds the erasers, plus a few drops of vanilla extract and two tablespoons of bulldog semen. Come on, how hungry are you right now?
Dramatically grotesque descriptions aside, I'm happy to be in pre-op mode. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to sift through my satchel of vitamins and try to figure out what I'm supposed to be taking.